


To My Surprise, You're Still My One

by KerrianneTelford



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:27:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26481910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KerrianneTelford/pseuds/KerrianneTelford
Summary: Kerrianne knows her Ma misses her Da. If no one else is going to do something about that, she will.Set in S7. AU, obviously.
Relationships: Fiona Larkin/Chibs Telford
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, I’m rewatching SOA and currently halfway through S7. As a fervent Chibs/Fiona shipper, I’ve always hated her just disappearing off the face of the earth after S3. Seeing Chibs with Jarry though, irks me even more. I haven’t tried to write Chibs/Fiona because I don’t think I can pull it off, but there’s not nearly enough fanfiction about them out there, so… decided to take a shot at it. Sorry if I suck.

For the last three years, Fiona had had to keep herself from calling him.

At first, she’d still had the foolish hope he would reach out to her himself, tell her he’d come home to be with his girls. He could, now that Jimmy was dead. There was nothing to hold him back anymore.

Nothing, but their past. She knew she’d betrayed him – betrayed him deeply, broke his heart in so many pieces she swore she had seen the shards glistening at his feet. But oh, she regretted that, she did. She regretted it so much her own heart had been in a similar state ever since she realized she drove the love of her life away and there was nothing she could do to bring him back.

She’d considered moving to Charming under the guise of Kerrianne needing to be closer to her Da, only she realized how weak of an excuse was. Their daughter didn’t want to leave Ireland: her whole teenage life was in Belfast. No, Fiona had made her bed, and she had to lie in it. It seemed she’d pay for her mistake for the rest of her days. Perhaps she deserved it.

It was too late now, anyway. Kerrianne was seventeen: soon, she wouldn’t need her Ma anymore and could visit her Da by herself, something she’d already heard them discussing over the phone.

Fiona wasn’t a woman who cried easily. A few times during their time together, Jimmy had managed to send her over the edge, and she’d figured that now he was gone, she wouldn’t have any reason to ever shed a tear again. Guess again. Sometimes she crept up to her own daughter, trying to listen in on her conversation with Filip, her fingers shaking as she caught the deep edge of his familiar voice.

Her life was a series of mistakes, but giving up on him would always remain her biggest one.


	2. Chapter 2

“I swear on my Catholic God, if you two don’t tell me where we are heading soon, you’ll regret it as much as you regretted sneaking out to go to that club party when you were fifteen.”

It was the fourth threat she’d made ever since Kerrianne and Trinity had coaxed her in the backseat and set off, giggling like a pair of little girls. Fiona had never been able to understand that kind of mindless behaviour, not even when she’d been young herself, and she wished they would shut their mouths.

“Come on, Ma,” Kerri said, turning to look at her from the passenger’s seat. When she smiled like this, she was all Filip, and she could never deny her a thing. “Let us surprise you. We’re sure you’ll like it.” She exchanged a knowing glance with Trinity, grinning again before unloading another fit of girly laughs.

Fiona decided to give them the benefit of the doubt and resigned to crossing her arms, looking out of the window to watch a rainy Belfast fly by, ancient streets she used to love with all her heart and now only brought her painful memories of the bastard that ruined her life. She was so wrapped up in her bitter thoughts she didn’t realize where they’d taken her until Kerrianne opened the door for her, hopping up and down on her toes in excitement.

The airport. They’d parked in the Kiss And Ride area, right in front of the entrance. What in the name of God were they doing there? She glared at her daughter, head tilted threateningly, silently demanding answers.

Kerri obliged, digging up a piece of paper from her purse, smiling uncertainly at her Ma as she handed it over.

Fiona took one look at the document and felt the air being kicked from her lungs. A one-way ticket to Sacramento International, registered to Fiona Telford.

 _Telford_. Not Larkin. Not O’Phalen. _Telford_.

She was shaking, almost dropping the ticket, trying to get herself together before meeting her daughter’s eyes again — _his_ eyes. “Oh, Kerri, love,” she said, and she hated herself for sounding this affected. “We can’t. You should go alone. I don’t think your Da wants to see me.”

To her surprise, Kerrianne smiled, placing her hands on her mother’s arms. “I’m not going anywhere, Ma. You are. By yourself.” Again, she shared a look with Trinity, who was leaning against the trunk of her car, a mischievous grin on her face.

Fiona sighed, feeling a fresh batch of tears longing to make their escape. “Really, this is very sweet of you, but I don’t—”

Kerri shook her head sternly. “I know you listen in on my talks with Da,” she said, “I see your face light up whenever my phone rings. In fact, we all do. It’s sort of endearing.” Well, that was embarrassing. She tried to ignore Triny’s snort, and her daughter’s amused expression, silently cursing herself for showing her emotions so clearly. With Jimmy gone, it seemed she was losing practice. “He asks about you, you know. I mean, beyond the obligatory ‘how is your Ma’.”

Even though she was trying to be strong, the question slipped out almost immediately: “He does?”

“Aye. Every time.”

She glanced at the sky, that suddenly seemed cold and unwelcome to her. “Listen, lovey. I can understand you perhaps trying to get your Ma and Da back together. But he doesn’t call _me_. He calls _you_. That tells you all you need to know.”

Behind her, Triny scoffed loudly. “You were right, Kerri. Both of them, stubborn as goats. God, Fiona, get on that plane and go shag your husband. You desperately need it.”

“Don’t you use that tone on me!” She couldn’t believe what was happening. Her daughter and goddaughter, ganging up on her to make her do something she’d longed to do for years, but never could.

“She’ll use whatever tone she wants,” Kerri said, nodding towards the other girl, who immediately opened up the trunk, revealing a small suitcase. She sighed, taking her mother’s hand and squeezing it. “It’s been three years. We’re fine. I’m better than I ever was. And I know you think I need you, and I do, but Ma… I think you need _him_ more.” Fiona was trembling all over now, her breathing unsteady, the air being squeezed from her lungs. All this time, she believed she’d hidden it well, and now it turned out the opposite was true. “Triny and Mo will look after me,” she continued. “I’m not in any danger. I’m completely fine. And if all goes well, I’ll come to visit as soon as possible.”

Triny lunged the suitcase from the trunk and set it before her feet. “Aye, Fi. I promise she won’t get in trouble.”

“Christ,” Fiona said, wiping at her cheeks. She was _not_ going to cry. Not in front of her daughter. All these doubts echoed through her mind, urging her to get back in the car and force the girls to drive her home – what if he had someone else? What if he didn’t love her? What if he couldn’t forgive her for what she’d done all those years ago? She hadn’t even forgiven herself.

One look at her daughter’s eyes was enough to shove all of her reservations aside. “Give it one more chance,” her girl said softly. “One more.”

She breathed in deeply, wondering if all of Jimmy’s beatings had meddled with her brain, and placed her hand on the suitcase. “Alright,” she said, “I will.”

Kerri squealed, throwing herself in her Ma’s arms, hugging her so tightly she might choke. She held onto her daughter just as firmly, taking in her familiar scent of paint and paper, and allowed herself to smile. What a wonderful girl they had managed to put on this earth.

She told her goodbyes to both of them, suddenly no longer trembling, and grasped the handle of her suitcase. “Now, girls,” she said, “let’s see if I still have it in me to soften that stubborn husband of mine.”


	3. Chapter 3

The dark didn’t bring coolness here. In California, the nights were warm and sweet, like the aftermath of the most beautiful summer’s day. She sat on the bench in front of his house, waiting calmly, listening to the buzz of insects around her. Not long from now, she’d see her Filip again. She’d be able to touch him, hear his voice, drown in his smile. Somehow, she wasn’t nervous but wide awake, never more ready to reclaim what had once been hers. He _had_ to want her. She didn’t dare to think of the alternative – knowing for sure that she’d broken their trust forever, or even worse, knowing he was indifferent to her, was the only thing that could entirely shatter the strong fortress she usually was. She’d never recover from that.

Finally, a car came to a stop – a police car. She smiled a little. Of course, the day she returned to her husband, he had to be brought home by the cops. She rose, willing herself not to cross her arms, to show him she wasn’t here to fight – she was here to reconcile.

Both front doors opened, and at one side, a woman in uniform stepped out, on the other, her Filip. He was laughing about something, that deep rumble of his, his eyes trained on the sheriff as he walked around the hood.

At that moment, Fiona’s heart was ready to crumble. He’d put his hand on the roof of the car, slightly leaning into his companion, his long hair falling in front of his face. Just her luck, she supposed, having to watch her great love snog some corrupt slut – only then, he halted, and looked sideways.

His eyes went wide upon seeing her, his body immediately tense. All of the playfulness left him as he stared at her, and she felt like she’d swallowed a boulder; it rested on the bottom of her stomach. The woman frowned, turning to see what he was looking at.

Fiona couldn’t keep standing there. She was here now, she’d come all the way, so she supposed it was just as well she’d learn the truth to his feelings. It was time to stop sulking, to stop waiting for a miracle that was never going to unfold. So, she crossed her arms, after all, approaching them with her gaze trained on his. “Hello, love,” she said upon reaching them, close enough to finally see his face clearly in the streetlight. Albeit more scarred and lined than ever, he was still the man she married all those years ago, with his stunning deep brown eyes.

“Who’s this?” the sheriff asked, her hand on her holster, like she was expecting some sort of attack.

Filip didn’t say anything for a while, the deep brown seemingly soaking up every inch of her, from her greying curls to her lips, to her slender neck and hands and legs. She’d changed into jeans, something she rarely wore these days, only because she remembered how much he’d always loved her in them – and, loved to get her out of them. He seemed to chew on his tongue, then said two words that made her heart stop: “My wife.”

The woman scoffed, running a hand through her hair. “You’ve got to be kidding me. You’re married?”

He closed his eyes for a second. “Aye,” he said, “at least, I think I am. Not really sure about it.”

His tone was harsh and absolutely meant for her. She knew she deserved it, and yet, her hands started shaking again. She nodded quietly. “Still married. He never changed that.” No matter how much she tried not to, she couldn’t help but touch the golden band on her finger. She hadn’t even known Kerrianne was aware of its existence until she’d opened the suitcase and found it lying on top, carefully wrapped up in bubble plastic.

He’d seen it. As soon as he had, he directed his attention to the sheriff, taking a step back. “Sorry,” he said, “haven’t seen her in three years. No idea she was going to be here.”

She chuckled. “Goodnight, Scotty. I don’t do drama.” And, with a calculating look at Fiona, she got back in the car and drove off.

She shouldn’t have come. It was a foolish, reckless idea, and she should’ve never given in. Who knew what she’d ruined for him tonight, God knows she’d already done enough wreckage to his life.

Filip took slow, deliberate strides towards her, his thumbs in the pockets of his jeans, coming to a standstill right before her. “What are you doing here, Fiona?”

The way he said her name. It still made her breath hitch and her heart race like it did when they were fifteen and daft children who had no idea what life would have in store for them. If only she could go back now and convince that young boy to run away with her, far from all the misery they’d had to endure. “Came to see if I still had a husband,” she said.

He didn’t say anything for a while. She could see the thoughts running through his head, a thousand at a time. He’d always been a thinker, sometimes even to a fault, and it was good to see he still was. Right now, though, the silence was killing her, weighing down the stone at the bottom of her stomach.

With a desperate sigh, she filled the distance between them, her skin coming alive as she once more felt his breath on her face. She breathed in deeply, her eyes fluttering, savouring his scent: leather and whiskey and petrol and books. Some things never changed. Like the way her heart raced when she touched his cheek, and the way she instinctively tilted her head – if he was going to break her, then perhaps, she could at least get one last kiss.

His lips brushed hers, tenderly, causing a soft whimper to come from her. “Yeah?” he said. “And what if you did?”

A feeling she hadn’t felt in a long, long time spread through her chest, making her stand on her tiptoes: hope. “I’d ask him if he still wants a wife.”

That took him aback: he frowned, only momentarily, but long enough for her to catch it. “What would that look like?”

“I have no idea, Filip. I just had to try. One last time.” The familiar blockage in her throat had reappeared, and she turned away, trying to get herself in check. A shaky breath left her, and she attempted to smile. “Turns out, after all… you’re still my one.” She wondered if she imagined the look in the deep brown, the way his lips parted in surprise, or if it was really there. “I love you. Always have, always will.” After Jimmy forcing her to say those words every day for so many years, she hadn’t believed she could ever mean them again, and yet, now they came so effortlessly, and she meant it more than she could ever express.

He hung his head, pushing away his hair with two hands, his fingers tense. Kicked the grass on his front lawn, like it’d done him some great harm. Her heart was already starting to tear, and she blinked away her tears, commanding herself to stay strong, no matter what dreadful reaction he’d give.

Then, all of a sudden, he was coming at her, confident and unwavering, and, without warning, tangled his fingers in her hair. She couldn’t do anything as he stared at her, breathing fast. “Jesus Christ,” he muttered. “You terrify me, darling. You damn near killed me, and yet…”

And, for the first time in three years, her husband kissed her: it was angry, heated, and still, love seeped through, in the way he held on to her desperately, pressing his body into hers like he hadn’t felt a woman’s touch in years. She surrendered to him, her legs weak, no longer able to support her, clutching his cut in an attempt to stay on her feet, giving all she had, all she could. He demanded her lips to part, and she obliged – at that moment, with her heart beating like this and her skin tingling and her knickers already wet, she knew she’d made the right choice, even if he was going to turn her down.

She stumbled backwards, and he did too, not letting go of her for even a second. The kiss changed, the rough edges disappearing, exchanged for something much sweeter, something tender. His hands left her hair, travelling down to her waist, holding her tight. He broke off the kiss, resting his forehead against hers. “I think,” he said, his voice raw and deep, “I very much enjoyed having a wife.”

“Aye,” she said, cupping his face, “I remember very clearly you did.”

He chuckled then, nearly blowing her away with the sound of it. “You would, aye?” Another kiss, intended to be short, but growing into another frantic one, with her trying to touch every inch of him – until he broke it off. “Fi,” he said, “I don’t know if I can.”

She nodded, even though it hurt. He’d been right. What would it even look like? Would she move here, leave Kerrianne behind, become an old lady? As ridiculous as it sounded, on the flight to Cali, she’d imagined it. Waking up by his side, making love to him every morning, kissing him goodbye before he set off on his bike, having dinner ready when he returned home in the evening. Only a few years ago, she would’ve scoffed at the idea of such a domestic life. Now, though, from where she was standing, with her greying hair and tired mind, it seemed absolutely comfortable. And, being married to the V.P. of SAMCRO could never in a million years be _too_ dull.

She touched the base of her neck, only then realizing she’d secretly been looking forward to being Filip Telford’s old lady. It made her gasp. She’d really ruined it. Fuck Jimmy. Fuck her stupid, reckless younger self. “I’m sorry, Filip,” she said, perhaps the first apology she’d given in so many years, “I am so sorry. Not a day goes by where I don’t wish I could go back and change it.”

He sighed again, drawing her in, wrapping his strong arms around her while she buried her face in his neck. “Oh, my darling,” he said, tenderly stroking her hair. “We did make quite a mess of things, did we?”

She looked up to him. “You didn’t do anything. It was all my fault. I was a stupid, reckless little whore.”

To her surprise, he laughed at that, a deep, booming one. “Reckless you might’ve been, alright. I could see the ‘whore’ thing too, as you quite enjoyed shagging me in the most unsavoury of places. But you were never stupid.”

She huffed. “I was, and I am. Jimmy was right about that too. I should’ve never come here, love, I’m sorry. If I’d known you were bringing a woman home—”

“Jimmy,” he said, spitting the name out like a curse, “has never been right about anything. He was a bloody monster.” His eyes almost shifted to black at the mention of him. “And that woman is just a woman, Fi. In all honesty, if it came to having you one last time, or shagging countless others for the rest of my days, there wouldn’t even be a doubt to what I’d choose.”

She wondered if he even realized what he’d said. Her eyes lit up, a slow smile building upon her face. He was such a good man. Always had been. She didn’t really deserve him. The luckiest moment of her life had been when she’d met him, at fifteen years old, outside the headteacher’s office, him with a bloodied nose and a cut in his cheek. “Really,” she said, “why would you choose that if you could also just have me the rest of your days instead?” She touched his scars, his lips, willing herself to give it one more try. “I’m ready to be married. I’m ready to keep all of the promises I’ve once made and once broke. Besides Kerri, you are the only thing I still want.” No longer trembling, she lifted her hand, showing him the ring, the one he’d put on her finger all those many years ago when she’d wholeheartedly believed she would never love another – and in fact, she hadn’t. That was one oath she did keep.

He looked at her. Smiled all smug, with crinkled eyes, all at once much more like the boy she’d once known than the man she hoped to get to know again. “You want this old man?” he asked, his hands sliding under her shirt, sending shivers down her spine.

“Aye,” she said, “and you? Do you want this old woman?”

“Aye,” he said too. “Aye, I do. Think it’s about time I slowed down a wee bit.”

She smirked, pressing into him, moving her lips to his ear. “You and I both know I’m not quite capable of that, love.”

He grinned against her cheek, his beard tickling her neck. “Maybe I need a little reminder.”

“Of course,” she said. She kissed him below his ear, sweetly, her one hand travelling lower, to his belt buckle. “Anything for my husband.”

“Ah, it’s good to be married.” He laughed, a light, relieved one, then put his lips on her neck. “Let’s move inside, Fi. This old man is tired from the goddamn day he just had.”

As much as she wanted to oblige, she knew it couldn’t be this easy. Not after all she’d done, all they’d been through. “Are you certain, Filip?” she asked, her eyes begging for honesty. “Once I’m inside, you won’t be able to get rid of me anymore. That’s a promise too.”

“That’s the thing with you. No matter how often I think you’re gone for good, you always manage to turn up again and turn my bloody life upside down.”

She laughed. “Ah, yes. That seems to be a speciality of mine.”

With something so heartfelt in his gaze it made her feel all warm inside, he offered her his hand, and she took it, letting him pick up her suitcase and lead her through the front door. He stuck his key in the lock, then looked at her and sighed. “You need to know,” he began, taking a deep breath, “things are bad around here. Very bad.”

She nodded. If he said things were bad, it meant they were terrible. “It’s good you’ll have me then. You’re going to need me.” Without waiting for a response, she turned the key and stepped into the hallway. It smelled so much like him; she instantly felt at home. He closed the door behind them, and then, she was alone with her husband, in his house, no fear of Jimmy ever finding out.

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close again. She heard a sniffle, and surprised, she realized she felt tears in her neck, and they weren’t her own. “Aye,” he said, “I need you, darling. I love you.”

“Love you too. And Kerri as well. She asked me to give you a hug from her.”

“Kerri knows you’re here?”

“Kerri is the one who made me go. She and Trinity arranged some sort of ambush. I barely had a choice in the matter.”

He chuckled. “That’s my girl.” When he let go, his eyes were dry again, full of love, and yet also exhausted. He brushed one of her curls aside, making her smile. “I know we need to talk about things. Me being in Charming, Kerri being in Belfast. All the shit that happened over the years. But, for tonight, can we just pretend and do married people stuff?”

She stood on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his. “What a wonderful idea, love.” Again, she melted into him, throwing her arms around his neck, showing him just how much she’d missed him. Never, with no one, had it felt like it did with her Filip.

“Just so we’re on the same page,” he interrupted, “married people stuff includes you being naked, does it?”

“Shut up and kiss me, husband.”

He didn’t seem to have any trouble following that command.


End file.
